Accept yourself already. Damn.

This relentless cycle keeps spinning me back and forth between, "ya, I got it." and, "oh, fuck. Again?"

"Accept yourself". 

These words appeared on a fortune cookie the morning my whole life flipped upside down or as I like to see it now, right side up.

Waiting outside for my dog to do his business, I stood dumbfounded by these words I had just found on the ground. Turning it over to read "good morning" on the other side, I laughed while trying not to cry. 

It was moving day. Again. 

6 months after moving to California for a relationship that I thought was "the one" I was kicked out of his apartment to take on life solo. 

With nothing but my dog, a car full of clothes and what was left of my self-worth, I bit my tongue as I yelled inside my head, "I HAVE ACCEPTED MYSELF!" 

nope. not even close. 

2 months later... I accepted the fact that you can't accept something you aren't done exploring. 

I had fooled myself into thinking I had ME figured out already. 

This fixed mindset fitted perfectly into the controlling, manipulation games that would fuel my ex's ego and diminish my self-confidence. 

The real me was trapped inside this mental confinement with negative self-talk that could convince its way out of anything that smelt like fear.

"Don't make decisions based out of fear" —my bad-ass therapist

Acceptance means peace and contentment with the present moment & at this moment in time, I admit to not knowing who I am all the way and that it's okay. 

This undeniable truth fuels the freedom to play, explore and to create from the boxes I packed away out of fear. 

"she had not known the weight until she felt the freedom"

Can you relate? 

Share in the comments down below, a box you're ready to unpack and make at home. 

Till next time, 

"accept yourself already, damn".

Kendra